Tuksu-klassikko: THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR A PIG

Eräänä viinanhuuruisena iltana Tuksu sai (omien sanojensa mukaan) selville että hänen ex-äijänsä Mika, eli tuttavallisemmin Sika-Mika, oli käynyt kyntämässä Julia-siskon puutarhaa joskus vuosia sitten. Kyseisen asian johdosta Tuksu veti päänsä täyteen vauhtilimsaa ja ties mitä, ja kirjoitti seuraavan vuodatuksen Dolls Dancers Diaryyn, eli Tollukkapieruun:

Nimi: Johanna Tukiainen
08.09.09 4:35 am

THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR A PIG IN FINLAND CALLED MIKA KEHÄ, WHOM I WAS ENGAGED TO FOR ABOUT 3-YEARS AND WE HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS IN THE CENTRUM OF HELSINKI

Mika always told me that he is a sociopath. I thought that it´s a joke, but he really had problems with different social events and got strange aggressive moodswings for many times. That wasn´t the case, I thought it´s ok anyways, because we all have our own bad sides ofcourse. But there was much more horrible things behind everything I didn´t even know about. I want to cut the speculations of some things involving my life, so I want to tell the truth! I´m sick and tired of the whole thing, that women are always the ones who to blaim and men are like heroes.

Mika was mentally sick, I think already long before I even noticed it. What it comes to my "Isabella" dancing advertisement on internet, Mika did the whole thing for me. He thought that´s good idea to sell private shows! During the first years he was ofcourse always really loving and gentle, the best cook I´ve ever met in my whole life, calm and safe in a way. We had though bad arguments, when he just flipped out and started to hit me and to spit on me etc. I forgave everything, because I really loved him. He was acting in a way for many times, that he was mentally dead. Like the thing, that he has never cried, is really weird.

We did trips together, like in Thailand for many times and to Lappland to ski, which was a lot of fun. I did a lot of trips around the world together with my sister Julia, but Mika came there for many times also to be with me. He was really sweet and I think people around us who don´t know anything, thought that he was just a sweet teddybear. I thought so also, even that Mika said for some times that I am really naiive. Well....what happened is that we travelled to Miami with Julia on 2004 on the first time and we just fall in love with the whole place. Me met on a caribbean cruise one jewish man who had really good sense of humour. He got really attracted to Julia and started to ask us for nice dinners. Danny had a best friend, also jewish Udi who lives in Miami.

They took us for evening dinners to great places in Miami, like to Forge, China Grill, Prime One Twelve etc. Just dinners, nothing else. There are pictures of this trip in our photogallery "MIAMI 2004". One of my ex-dancers, Inga from Latvia came also with us for some time. The thing is that NOTHING really happened with Udi. He gave his business card and told me to call him whenever, that he would love to help me in my life any ways he can.
I lost his card, because I was with Mika in Finland.

In the spring 2005 we travelled to Miami with 6 beautiful dancers from the Dolls and stayed over there for 5-weeks. We performed in Mansion night club and were finalists for Miss Miami Beach Competition and lived very exciting life. Then on the first week of our trip when we went with our manager James to the famous club called The Bed, we heard familiar voices! On the bar disk there were Danny and Udi and they remembered us. So they bought the whole bed for us where we were having great evening the whole night with the girls also.

Well, I need to write a book of my whole life and I´m definitely going to do it. So I can´t write all the details now. Anyways from that evening in the Bed night Club we really felt strong connection with Udi, just unbelievable chemistry, which I think that many people don´t find ever during their whole lifetime. Even his touch on my hand felt, that I could melt right away. It was amazing. After couple of days Udi called me and asked me to come for a dinner with him. We fall in love with eachother, I just couldn´t help it at all.

It was like the whole world around us disappeared, I didn´t see anything else anymore. I thought that it might be just a short holiday romance, so I tried to take things slowly. But it was unpossible, already on the next week we were flying to Rio De Janeiro with him listening my favourite song Selena´s "Dreaming of you" in the airplane. The fairytale started from there.
I went into a big pink bubble like the girl (Jennifer Connelly) goes in the movie "Labyrinth" the whole around me changed. We were making love everywhere and all the time. The passion was so strong that it felt like taking my breath away. Ofcourse this wasn´t right thing to do! I wasn´t married and didn´t have children, but I still was in a relationship with Mika in Finland and I loved him, but on the different way. But my conscious was really bad.

When I came home to Finland, I just watched the movie with Demi Moore and Robert Redford "Only one night" and just cried. I didn´t know what to do with my life.
To make it short, Mika got to know about Udi, when he checked my videocamera where we were with Udi in Rio. But now the whole thing starts, that really amazed me, I couldn´t ever believed that!! Mika told me, that he had been using prostitutes for years all around the world! Always when I was away on some trip etc. he was using them in Estonia, India, Caribbean Islands (where I went with Julia. When we travelled to Aruba, meanwhile Mika went to a bordell in St.Martins!!!) The point is, he had been using them for years!!!! Long before I even met Udi! So I think he has an addiction with internet sex, really. There are so many men, who are addicted to prostitutes. He was using them already when Mika was married to his ex-wife Kirsi.
I don´t wonder anymore, why Kirsi wanted to have divorce.....

I´m sad that people´s exes don´t warn eachother, so people don´t start to use years of their lifes in vain. I think exes should talk with eachother, then you can get better point of view how somebody is. Like Julia´s crazy ex-boyfriend Jarkko, his ex-girlfriend (not Julia) went to a mental hospital for few weeks after him, he had been using so bad mental violence.
Udi wasn´t an angel really, he was everything else in a longterm. Even that he has a lot of charisma and sex appeal. He had been married before me for 23 years, had 3-children and I always told him, that if he doesn´t love me on the way that I am or can´t get over with his ex-wife, which he really didn´t, so I told him to go back to his ex-wife. I told it all the time, that he should do it when his mental abuse started with me. When we split up with Udi in May-2006, he had some blond girfriend for a while whose name is Christin. It was really redicilous, when I went to get my belongings from Continuum and there were cards from Christin that she had been writing for Udi. The lines were excatly the same, than with me! Like "My Baby, I miss you so much. You are always going to be my baby....etc. blaa blaa...."

Christin called me on the last year and asked about Udi. Well I told her, that he had never been over with his ex-wife and probably won´t. I really feel sorry for her as I heard that she´s 37 or 38 and had already one psycho millionaire boyfriend in Miami, who never told that he was married!

Now I´m going of the track....What it comes to Mika. Everything would have been cool, if he could have forgiven me. I know, the whole thing was such a mess, that many of the people show the door right away. I thought, that it´s sick and really weird to use prostitutes like a hobby. I can understand, if someone makes a mistake once, but when it happens for years as a secret, that makes me so sick that I could really throw up!

Mika started to give ultimatumes for me. He would want to sleep both with my sister Julia and my sister Jasmina, and then he could think, if maybe he could continue with our relationship! Isn´t that sick, or what????

By the way, right away when I heard about his prostitutes, I went to all the tests and have done it also now for many times, and I´m totally clear, luckily!!

If Mika has a girfriend now, which I doubt (probably just girls he has bought from the net) I really hope that she reads this. A man who has that kind of addiction, usually doesn´t end it. He has also weird social phobias, mostly doesn´t want to go anywhere, just stay at home and watch TV like a vegetable.

There are so many vicious people on net who want to write bullshit about things, that they don´t know nothing about. Mika has been living double life or maybe trible life for a while already. What it comes to the payments of my trips, I have paid them by myself. We still have been living together since the past year and we have had sex life together with him. So if he has had a girlfriend, he has been betraying her as well.

Aabout a year ago Mika wanted to travel to the Canarian Islands, but with somebody else than me. Even that I had canceled London trip for New Years with Julia and Shawn, and one trip with my friends to Agia Napa. It was ok for me, that Julia went with Mika to Lanzarote for a week vacation, because they used to come well along with eachother. Julia was so furious when she came back, because Mika had told her that he will do everything he just can, that I will come crazy and end up to the mental hospital for my life!

Well....years passed by....and still Mika was talking about Udi and Miami every evening! Nothing else, always the same subject! He just couldn´t get over with him. There have been many years, that I´ve felt so sorry for Mika and tried to make up with everything. I fought for the whole relationship for 2-years and everything started to look much better. We were having dinners every evening together like always, watched movies, made love etc. like ordinary couples do. We went to Paris for a romantic weekend on the Valentine´s Day 14.2.2008, so not that long ago infact. We went to see Lido show, which is great. I paid the trip for Mika as a Valentine´s Day present.

But after the trip I noticed from his cell, that he was still betraying me.

I had known one gossip magazine journalist Juha-Tapio Tuomela for Hymy for years. We were texting once in a while what´s happening in life. I can´t believe that he could do the whole thing to me, what happened next.

Tuomela knew about my problems with Mika and that I tried to save my relationship with him. No matter what, he published the whole textmessage scandal in Hymy, and even that he claims that he hadn´t any idea that Kanerva would get fired from his job! I think that´s a big lie. Mika though knew all the time about our textmessages with Kanerva (the ex minister of foreign affairs) and he was just laughing for them. He know that I didn´t have any affair with Kanerva ever. He was known for it that he was texting for pretty women in Finland. After the 2-years work that I had tried to save our relationship with Mika, everything just collapsed.
The media enjoyed of all the nasty comments they could ever make and put both me and the minister down. Finland, in many ways, is still really close to Russia I think. Nobody should be too successful or different than others.

So....whenever there came some propaganda from TV about the scandal, Mika just started to throw up. I really do feel sorry for him, but I was in a big mess myself and he didn´t try to do anything about it. He just abandoned me and disappeared from the house. My countant, which I´ve known for years, arranged an attorney for me who really took the case seriously.
The whole crazy year 2008 ended when I flew away from the evil media to get some breath in Gambia, Africa. I bought the whole trip really fast, had only one day to pack. The person in a travelling agency told me, that it´s good to take medicine for malaria before I go there, that´s kind of flue. I had a Dolls show on the same night in a city called Lahti and early morning flight. I would have wanted to travel with Mika, but he didn´t want to come with me.

A week after the vacation my fever went up to 41´c. I started to shake all over, my feet didn´t work anymore and I felt like drinking water all the time. I felt like really hot or cold all the time. I went to spend my sister Julia´s birthday to Cantina West in Helsinki, when I felt that I can´t bare it anymore. One famous ex-wrestler called Toni Halme drove me to my home in the city. Mika said to me that´s best thing to go to the doctor, it might be something serious. Then he disappeared to Tallinn, Estonia, where I think he went to buy prostitutes again.
I took a taxi to Marian hospital in Helsinki, where I told that I have a bad flue. Luckily the doctors where really professional and knew right away, that it was something serious. They took blood tests from me, and took me right away to Meilahti to the really serious sections where people are dying. Before they put me the machine, they said that I´m really close dying now and I make one short phonecall. I called to my mother, who flew right away from Stockholm to meet me. I was so thursty that I felt that I would die if I don´t get even a little bit of water. But the nurses didn´t give it to me, because they said that I could die even to a little bit of water. So I was in machine for 4-days, my lungs, liver etc. everything stopped to work. The doctors told that I had 20% change to survive.

And I survived. Thanks for God, my parents and grandmother who were praying for me every day, the priests from Finland and Sweden and many unknown finnish people. And ofcourse the unbelievable doctors! Anyways, Mika didn´t come to see me to the hospital even once. Julia was texting her like crazy, that I´m dying and Mika should see me even once. He just sent a message, that he´s abroad! What an asshole, sorry to say this!
I was in hospital almost for 2 months and he didn´t come to see me even once! He didn´t even call me! Now, this is what I think is sick.

I think even exes should come to the hospital, if somebody would be dying! After I got out in December-2008 he was acting like nothing would have ever happened. Just told me, how he would like to keep me like his "fuckbuddy".

Now when I´m even thinking of it, it´s just crazy! I don´t know what gift of the world this guy thinks of himself. He´s 12 older than me, doesn´t have any kids, I wonder if he wants to have them, he´s in a hurry.

However, it was much easier to be with Mika than with Udi!
Mika is calm and relaxed and I think that we were a nice couple with him.
What it comes to Udi....oh my god. I don´t want to talk about it now. There are many men in high positions who use mental abuse and Udi was one of them.

Johanna


Hieman selvittyään (ja saatuaan "jonkin verran" rakentavaa palautetta) Tuksu poisti kyseisen kirjoituksen, mutta netissähän kaikki säilyy historian hamaan loppuun asti. Täytyy vielä myös mainita se, että vaikka Tuksu ylempänä väittääkin että Udin kanssa ei tapahtunut mitään ensitapaamisella, mutta totuus on toinen: Iltalehden Sofian Sohva-palstalle salanimellä kirjoittamassaan kirjeessä Tuksu myöntää että pillua tuli annettua Udille heti ensitapaamisella.